Check yourself – are you in the sarcasm habit?
Some things are mean no matter how you say them, for example, "Can't you do anything right?" Then there's sarcasm. It can be in the words we choose, "Well, look who finally decided to pick up their clothes." Or in our attitude, "Oh, sure you did a good job." No matter how you use it, sarcasm is never productive. It's a cop-out for being direct and mature when we communicate... and going for the dig can easily become a habit. Children develop their habits for communicating with others by what they see and hear in their family and homes.
Here are the facts
Research shows that young people who experience positive communication with their parents are more likely to grow up healthy and are more willing to seek their parents’ advice and counsel. About 28 percent of Washington County young people enjoy positive communication with their parents and are willing to seek their parents’ counsel and advice, according to Search Institute surveys. Practice consistently communicating—talking and listening to young people—with an open mind and heart.
Tips for building this asset
Positive communication also means listening to understand a young person’s perspective, not to advocate your position.
Check yourself for these situations:
- Think about the messages you send through your actions….being a workaholic or other reasons to be absent from the family. What does that action communicate to your kids about what you value most?
- Look for the unique qualities in each of your children and praise them for their own special talents, gifts and abilities. Avoid favoring one child over another.
- Being a parent isn’t easy and regardless of your marital status, conflicts will arise. Your kids learn how to handle conflicts by what they see happen between mom and dad. What are you modeling?
- Have an open door policy with your kids where they know they can talk to you about any situation.
- Most importantly – check your tone, eye contact, words and actions before blurting something out you may regret. Don’t talk down – talk with kids.
- Talk directly together with our youth. Take the time to think not only about what you say but how you say it. It may make the difference in getting your message across.