Parents & Adults – be a thermostat not a thermometer.
A thermostat sets the temperature, a thermometer reflects the temperature. As parents, too often we serve as thermometers... we reflect our child’s mood. If David is nice, I will be nice. But if David is nasty... well, you get the picture. But effective parents should be thermostats... setting the climate of the household by how we react, or don't react, to our child's behavior. We can choose to be calm when our child is out of control. We can choose to remain positive and happy when our children only respond with words of anger and hurt.
Here are the facts:
It’s important for parents and guardians to create a home environment that fosters loving words and actions, consistency, and openness. About 67 percent of Washington County young people say their family life provides high levels of love and support, according to Search Institutes Attitudes & Behavior Survey conducted in 2006. Spending quality time together is the first—and most important—step toward establishing a great family support system.
Tips for building this asset:
- Try to keep the emotional temperature of the household as consistent as possible.
- Make your family and home a place where kids can find stability and constant support.
- Think about this: does your child feel supported when you come home from an exhausting day, and he or she wants to talk—but you want a break?
- The young people closest to you know your body language. They listen to what you say—and don’t say. They notice when your words and actions don’t match.
My father once told me, “I may not like you right now but I’ll always love you.” Even in times of anger, disappointment, temper tantrums and hurtful words, don’t forget to say I love you. Make it a point to be sure kids hear your message of love and support loud and clear at all times.